Sitcom Moments

June 30th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Crazy Girl, Life, Love

One night a few weeks ago, I was home alone and had a very weird and apparently comical accident. I was getting ready to take a shower - I went into the bathroom, started the water and turned on the shower. Leaving the water running, I went to my bedroom to take off my clothes and brush my hair. I walked back to the bathroom to find that Madeline had jumped into the shower and was standing there waiting on me. I was irate! DAMN DOG! I had to fight to get her out - she was determined to stay in the shower. I grabbed the fly-swatter to swat her out, but that didn’t work. I was finally able to grab her by her collar and pull her out. As you can imagine, I was pretty pissed by this time. I was yelling at her and telling her to go to her room. She resisted, but I chased her through the living room and into the kitchen. Yelling for her to “GO TO BED!” A few steps into the kitchen, I slipped on the wet, tiled floor. I slipped and fell to the side, catching myself with my right arm on the kitchen table. (My kitchen table is a black iron, glass top table. The chairs are matching black iron). Well, in catching myself with my right arm, I slid into the back of the chair landing right on the side of my right breast! Immediately I was in severe pain. After getting over the initial shock, I walked to Madeline’s room to shut the door. I made sure I let her know how unhappy I was with her. She stood there with her head down as I closed the door. Even though the pain was excruciating, I was still able to take a shower.

After my shower, I called Juan to tell him about my accident. He listened as I moaned about how my right breast was going to be bruised up. When I was done telling him my story, he calmly said something along the lines of, “Babe, I’m sorry you hurt yourself and I do understand. However, you may not think so right now, but that is freaking hilarious.” And then he started laughing. He continued to laugh about it the rest of the night. He told me that my life is a sitcom. If something like that had happened to someone on a sitcom we would laugh our asses off.

It took a while, but yea, it was a laughable situation - me, naked, running after a wet dog and falling. I still have evidence of the accident on my breast, but am fine otherwise.

I agree with Juan and believe that everyone has their sitcom moments. Even my easily amused fiance.

You see one evening not too long ago, he was at my house alone. He was watching TV, just hanging out. At one point, he went into the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge. After getting his beer and opening it he glanced outside to check on Madeline. Things were not quite right, she had company. That Little Black Dog. Yeppers, she was still in heat at the time and her friend wanted to play. Juan ran outside to see what was going on. That Little Black Dog attempted to have his way with Madeline . . . How do I know this? Juan had time to take a picture to try and capture the moment and hilarity of That Little Black Dog’s attempt. When he notice that Madeline was going to lay down and make things a little more accessible for That Little Black Dog, Juan must have panicked (knowing how upset I would have been) and chased That Little Black Dog away. In all the commotion of scaring the dog away, he threw his beer at the dog . . . wasting a perfectly good beer.

Yep . . . . funny situation suited for a sitcom.

The Shoes

June 16th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Life, Love

It as always been my belief that shoes define the outfit.  There have been many times that I’ve gone out and bought a pair of shoes then found the outfit to match.  I’m a shoe girl - I cannot even tell you how many shoes I own. 

I will tell you about one newly acquired pair.  You see, I recenlty bought this amazing dress and needed the perfect shoes to compliment.  The shoes had to be equally stunning.  I took some time and narrowed my choice to two pairs.   Last night I made my decision:

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Consequences of being told on

June 16th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Life

In my disclaimer that I added into my blog several months ago, I stressed that if you did not like the shit I was writing about, to please help yourself out and not read my blog.  Well, this has not deterred a certain someone from reading my blog.  I’m not even sure why - for me, it is not worth my time or energy to find someone, whom I do not like, on the Internet and research their life and writings.  I only read blogs that I find funny, entertaining, or they are a family member’s blog. 

There is a point I was trying to make.  In the past, I’ve written about a certain aspect of my life and past that concerns Looser Dad and The Bitch.  I’ve explained why certain people are referred to as certain names in my life.  (I assure you I’m referred to as a bitch by her too - only she has no reason for this - I only left my husband so that she could continue to f*** him and start a long life with him nine years ago!  And the only time he hears from me or our lives cross is when it is concerning our children).  Anyway - so I’ve been yelled at twice by LD and approached once by LaDiabla (I’ve decided to refer to her as this from here on out because this is probably less offensive and just another name she is known as by people in my life) asking me to stop writing and why do I say certain things and call them by certain names.  I was like . . . um everything written has been the truth and the certain names are a description of the person you are to my kids and in my life - they did read the blog right?!  LD even approached my fiance and told him that my writing in a blog is causing problems in his relationship, that I’m out to make his life miserable, and that I’m holding on to the past.  My fiance told him that writing is what I do and he nor him can control that I write or what I write about.  TRUTH!  (Maybe this was an attempt by LD to cause a rift in my relationship - I assure you Juan reads my blog and knows who I am and about my past).  My blog is certainly not an attempt to cause anyone relationship problems or cause some one’s life to be miserable.  My blog is just a blog and sometimes an outlet for frustrations or nuisances in my life.  And just because someone refers to their past does not mean they are holding on to something.  Sometimes you have to refer back to the past to refrain from making the same mistakes or to help someone else from making the same mistake. 

My point is that if you are reading this entry or any other entry I write and you are offended, stop reading it.  If you are reading anything I write and you are getting charged up with anger/jealousy/bitterness then you really should not be reading what I write.  I mean what is the point?  Why would someone read something that upsets them?  And to be specific - after reading anything that I write and feeling the need to “tell on me” to my ex-husband in an attempt to “get me in trouble” is a waste of time.  No sort of reprimand by my ex-husband has any consequential value in my life - in fact its comical at this point.

So here’s a valuable lesson - only read blogs or media that are entertaining or of value to your life.  You should not read things that cause negative feelings or bring negativeness to your life.

“I’m Actually Getting Married”

June 9th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Life, Love

“I’m actually getting married!” These were the words I spoke after Eva said, “You’re getting married!”  We were on our way home from shopping for my wedding dress.  It was as if after seeing me in the dress I am to wear on my big day and making the purchase (a rather large purchase) brought everything into reality.  It was funny, we just couldn’t get over how real everything felt after that long exhausting day of shopping for the perfect dress.

The perfect dress is exactly what it is.  It is sparkly, poofy, dramatic, dreamy and simply stunning!  Everyone thought so.  It is very Cinderella. 

Thank goodness that the dress had to be ordered and will not be in until August 5th; otherwise, I would want to put the dress on every day.

I will not even say what it cost, but I will say what the cost got me.  I got a $20 gift certificate for a mother’s dress; a $20 off coupon for each of the bridal party dresses; a $50 restaurant gift certificate; a $30 off coupon for every tux rental at Men’s Warehouse; a free tux rental for my groom to be; and countless other coupons.

To say the least - I was simply elated after finding my dress.

I’m actually getting married . . . . .

Our Wedding: in 3 months, 3 weeks

June 5th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Life, Love

It has been crazy the past few weeks since I accepted Juan’s proposal.  Our wedding plans are underway and its Wedding Central in my home.

One thing that is a savior is that I have been planning my wedding for a long time now.  So many decisions were made before Juan even came along.  Nothing wrong with a girl knowing what she wants, and as Juan has said, “she can have whatever she wants.”

So far we’ve secured a location for the ceremony and reception.  I know my color, I just haven’t locked in the shades.  (Hard to understand, I know, but it depends on my dress).  Our maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, junior bridesmaid, junior groomsman, and flower girls have been chosen.  Many of the decorations have been chosen, its just a matter of purchasing and putting together. 

I have my date book filled with to-dos for the next three months and three weeks.  I am sometimes overwhelmed, but for sure ecstatic.  The times I have gotten stressed, Juan has taken me into his arms, held me tight and asked me to breathe and told me everything is ok, everything will work out, and relax.  He tells me I’m a brideszilla, and at times I am, but oh, well.  It is my way!  :) 

I will be shopping for my wedding dress tomorrow.  Juan says he wants it to be fancy and beautiful.  I will say that I have a nice budget for my dress, so it will be great.  I’m looking for a Cinderella dress for sure!

Engagement!

May 19th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Love

On Friday, a week after celebrating our one year anniversary, Juan (J) asked me to marry him.  He got down on one knee, told me that I was everything and more that he could ever want in a woman.  That there is no one else he’d rather spend the rest of his life with.  He offered me the world and  I said yes!  It has been a whirlwind weekend, telling our parents and making plans.  Our wedding date will be September 26th of this year. 

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What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Her right to tell her story

May 14th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Life, Love

I have been keeping up with the Elizabeth Edwards drama over her new book, Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities.  I cannot help it - her situation was at one time my situation.

I’ve read article after article . . . was she right or wrong by making the situation public?  I found this article particularly interesting because it gave several viewpoints.

I totally agree that she had every right to tell her story, to vent in any way she found healing.  When someone goes through infidelity in a marriage it is devastating; healing must come in anyway you can find healing.

I loved the quote in the article, “When has a broken heart ever been rational?”

Unless you have lived it, you don’t know the truth in this statement. 

I clearly remember my irrational moment after discovering my husband was cheating on me, as I am sure every woman that has been in that situation remembers her moment. It was in March 2000, I was 21 and about four months pregnant with Destiny.  I found his car in her driveway.  After taking Xavier to my parents’ home, I went back to take pictures.  I called him and said many things that are not worth mentioning.  I went home and locked myself in the bedroom.  I don’t remember how it came to be or what my thought process was, but I came to the decision that I would not leave him with more than he had come into the relationship with, or with anything that my hard earned money had paid for.  (I was the only one with an income for most of our relationship.)  I picked up a pair of antique cloth shears, they had to be 12 inches long, extremely sharp, and very heavy,  and proceeded to cut up his clothing.  I cut up the middle of all of his “going out” shirts and jeans.  I left the “work” clothes alone because he was going to need a job.  I then cut the crotches out of all of his boxers and underwear.  Then I packed up all of my stuff and left. 

A few weeks later I went back for one night.  I couldn’t stomach being with him - it felt gross, so I left again.

The next year in May 2001 we were divorced.  The day of the divorce he begged me to not divorce him, threatened to not sign the papers and even made crazy promises all in an attempt to win me back, even though he had just had a baby girl with her.  I stood my ground. 

To heal, I moved to Houston.  In a small town like ours, you cannot heal from a divorce.  The proximity is too close and he would not leave me alone.  He would call at all hours and show up at my parents home in the middle of the night.

A few months after I moved to Houston, I allowed him to visit.  One night.  And again, I was sure I had made the right decision to leave.  Not only had he not been faithful to me, but he was not faithful to her either.  He was not capable of monogamy and that was not ok with me.

Mrs. Edwards had every right to tell her story, as do I.  My children know my story because they asked.  And even now, they still bring it up and still want to hear about what happened.  It is important for me to be honest with them about everything - to the extent that they understand.  I want my son to know the value of marriage and that it is not ok to treat a woman this way.  I want my daughter to know the same, to be able to stand her ground and demand respect for herself when her time comes.

Letting them go . . . out to play

May 13th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Crazy Girl, Single Mom

I am starting to get that, as a mom, there is a never ending battle of “letting go” when it comes to your children.

I remember leaving the children for the first time with a baby-sitter and even the first day of school.  Its like a piercing knife goes into your chest and you start to suffocate.  Then of course the tears follow incessantly.

Over the past few weeks the kids have been exploring the neighborhood on their bikes.  In the past, they were only allowed to ride bikes in the driveway and street directly in front of the house.  However, I know they are older, capable and mature enough to venture around the block and back.  They have made friends from down the street and go visit them and their friends come visit our home.  And going around the block has turned into going around several blocks and even down several streets to a few neighborhood parks.  In fact this past Saturday from 10:30 a.m. till 8:30 p.m., my back door was busy.  In and out, in and out, in and out . . . you get the picture.  Its not quite the same feeling as when they are left at a babysitter’s or school, but letting go the same.

I had it in my mind that them venturing out would free up my time to give me some self time of rest and relaxation.  Um, no!  I am getting things done, but I still have this stress, fear and nervousness.  I’m waiting for the inevitable.  I wonder, what would happen if one of them fell off the bike and got a huge gash in their knee or broke their leg or arm.  What would happen?  What if they weren’t together at the time?  Would they lay there and cry?  Who would come tell me?  Would they come home? (I have OCD so theses kinds of obsessive thoughts of the worst are common for me).

Well, yesterday evening the inevitable happened.  I was washing dishes and Destiny comes into the house.  I look back and see she’s upset.  And sure enough, she fell off the bike.  Her knee was cut up and there was blood everywhere.  Her hand was scrapped up as well.  And for sure she was in pain.  Inbetween sobs she explained that she fell because Xavier was teasing her.  I doctored her up and explained the importance of always taking care and concentrating on riding a bike, because no matter how confident you are in your skills, you can still have an accident.  After getting cleaned up and calming down, out she went to play again. 

A part of my worries were eased - I actually felt a little release of pressure from my back.  I wasn’t totally worry free, but the first accident was over and done.  I am not saying the following ones will be less traumatic or not, but I know I can handle it when it happens.  That’s what calmed me a bit.  And I will be a little less engrossed in worries when I have to let them go out and play.

Laughing Moments

May 8th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Crazy Girl, Single Mom

There are times when you just cannot help laughing despite your emotional state at the time. 

A few days ago, Xavier left his bike outside at the end of the driveway by the road.  J put the bike in the back of his truck that evening; he had to move it out of the way in order to drive in the driveway.  After dinner, the kids were going back outside to ride bikes, J walked out to get Xavier’s bike out of the truck and explained that it could be stolen if he leaves it out at the end of the driveway.  Xavier replied “I wanted it to get stolen, that way I won’t have to ride bikes anymore.” (Xavier does not like outdoors and lately I have been pursuading  him to ride bikes and play outside for exercise).  J came in and told me the story; I was angry.  I waited until Xavier came back in to confront him.  I asked him why he left his bike out in front of the driveway.  His response was “because I wanted to.”

“Because I wanted to.”  I am not sure why, but I found this response hilarious.  I could not help laughing!  I was laughing so hard and could not stop.  It was difficult to find a moment of composure to tell him that I was very angry with him and to go to his room, I would be in to talk to him in a moment.  I doubt he believed me at the moment because I could not stop laughing.

I am not sure why I found this so funny.  Maybe it was the innocence and blatant truth of the response.  Or because it was a smart-ass response that happened to be true.  Or because he’s coming into his own - after years of never giving me trouble, now it’s starting.  Later I went in and lectured him on responsibility of owning a bike.  I threatened that if it was stolen, I would trade his play station in for a new bike.  I think I got my point across - if he’s not riding the bike, it is in the carport or storage room.

Just yesterday while at work, I called the kids and Destiny answered the phone, “hello?!”  I told her what I had to tell her and got off the phone, laughing.  Not uncontrollably laughing, but laughing none the less.  I was laughing because her phone greeting was exactly the way I answer the phone.  I am sure I cannot explain it in writing the way I answer the phone and pronounce or enunciate hello, but it is distinctive and Destiny has got it down.  To me it was funny to hear how much she is like me.  She’s her mother’s daughter.

I love my children, they are such a joy in my life.  I love that they still bring laughter into my life.  Whether I’m boiling angry or bogged down at work.

An Addiction Pt 2

April 30th, 2009 by MJ | No Comments | Filed in Crazy Girl, Life

Its been a month now that I’ve been on a budget and let me tell you . . . it SUCKS!

I’m so not use to this type of lifestyle.  Planning and watching my finances carefully. 

The main change has been at the grocery store.  My old way of shopping was using a list that I had compiled of items we use at the house.  The list was a three column list printed from the computer.  The grocery list was sorted by isles in the grocery store.  All I had to do prior to leaving the house was cross out anything that we did not need.  I never really stuck to the list 100%.  I would buy extra stuff that I thought we’d try or could use.  I would not plan meals ahead to know the quantity of each item we needed.  I would just go in and purchase - and in doing this, I would just grab whatever I needed, not comparing prices.  I never had a grocery budget.  And my grocery bill was pretty steep - and naively, I thought it was the cost of raising two kids.  The new way of shopping is to still use the list and take inventory of what we have - marking out items we do not need.  I check the sales fliers before going shopping and taking advantage of certain deals at certain stores (two stores only).  I meal plan so that I know exactly the quantity of meat to purchase and other items.  While shopping, I compare items and purchase more generic products than before.  The grocery bill dropped significantly.  Not 50% significantly, but significantly enough.  I haven’t got into clipping coupons, but you never know - I may.

Another change has been household shopping.  I make a list of what we need and at times buy a cheaper brand.  I am also trying to buy American.  So, now when I shop, I look at the products and try to go cheaper and American.  It sort of works out this way - I may have cut the household shopping bill by maybe 5%?  I will not go into detail, but there are lots of things that I do not compromise on trying cheaper brands.  However, I was proud that out of my 20 products, only three of them were not made in America.  My toothpaste was not American.  I use Crest - it comes in a stand up tube.  Its nice and neat.  There is no negotiating this one - I love this product and did I say its nice and neat?  (I am OCD!)  The kids’ toothpaste is American made and not a name brand product.  They love it and it is also in a stand up tube that makes it nice and neat.  I think another product I bought that is not American made was Swiffer dusters.  There is no compromising on that - you stick these dusters on a stick and start dusting - very easy.  I don’t think there is a cheaper brand comparable with Swiffer.  The other product was my oil blotter sheets.  They were not American.  But there was not an off-brand to use at Wal-Mart.  I think CVS has their own brand and I could live with that, but I wasn’t in College Station.

And the last change is not being able to shop - choosing to not shop at my leisure.  I mean I’ve always had limits and knew what I did/did not have, but this is different.  I am having to choose to not spend in order to change my financial situation.  How am I cooping with this?  Instead of browsing retail stores on-line and shopping, I now browse sites that have the things I am working towards - things that I know I can have if I change my financial situation.

I’ve had a few set backs, but I had anticipated this would happen.  I miss being able to pick up things as I wanted.  I miss eating out more often and not worrying about the budget.  I am sure this is the way it is with an addiction.  But I am still committed and still working towards a goal.  And work it is - being responsible and conscious of your spending habits is hard work.  Five more months to go on the budget, however it will be only the start to a new lifestyle.

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